Tense Around Apples

This is probably a hugely unpopular opinion, but I think it needs to be said. 

When I first read that Eleanor Roosevelt had said, "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent", I didn't understand it. People gave their consent to be insulted and bullied? What? I don't know how long it took or what finally made it click, but I realised what it meant, eventually. The very fact I didn't at one point makes me all the more certain we should bear it in mind when we think about arming ourselves against bullying.

What she meant was that in order for an insult or comment to stick and eat away at you, you have to feel there's some part of it that's true; it has to be based in your own insecurities. If someone tells you that you're thick and you worry you're not clever enough, you're going to see it as fact, when it's really just a comment that hits the right (wrong) spot. I know bullies can and will find anything to bully a person about - be it wearing glasses or having a "unfortunate" name - but it only sticks when you believe it yourself. Anyone who's been told they look awful when they feel fabulous knows exactly the opposite of what I mean. When you've got the world at your feet, anyone can tell you anything and you'll flounce off and ignore it.

From that angle, the solution to verbal bullying is obvious: have confidence in yourself, and only believe what the people who care about you say. That said, it clearly isn't applicable to non-verbal bullying and it's much much much easier said than done. 

PEOPLE. BELIEVE IN YOURSELVES. YOU ARE SKILLED, CREATIVE, SMART, PASSIONATE, FRIENDLY, DETERMINED, AMAZING PEOPLE WHO ARE LOVED.

Once you know that, you'll never feel inferior again.

[Error: unknown template qotd]Beach, without a doubt. The beach on a scorching day is what I live for.

[Error: unknown template qotd] When I was at school, I used to be bullied. Lack of what I guess can be called 'school smarts' meant that there weren't much open to me, or that I felt confident doing. Opinions for solutions ranged from "staying away from that sort of people", "not letting it get to me", and "telling the teacher", none of which did anything to actually stop it from happening.

The worst idea though -- and this extends to many other areas -- was to "ignore them". All that did was to show people I was taking their irritant nature on board, and stopped me from doing much about it, since I wasn't meant to recognise it. Never ignore it. It really doesn't help. In fact, since it makes you more alienated and look a little more like you have a stick up your ass, I'd suggest it makes things worse. The best thing, and this is from my own experience, is to realise two things: One, your self-worth; and two, that some people simply are dicks that you're not going to get any help from.

Leave them to it and get on with your own life.

Alternatively, when all my mates had left me for their SOs, and I was upset because I thought friendship meant more, several people said, "Well, get one yourself." Shoddy advice that.

Also, don't use facebook chat when writing LJ posts. It screws you up summat rotten.

[Error: unknown template qotd] Facebook particularly. Oh, and Soap Operas. Boykissing. And trashy tv like Britain's Got Talent. I was completely hooked this year.

[Error: unknown template qotd] LJ lost my post! But I'm going to do it again, dammit, because it was a decent post. Here goes. *sigh*

MADDY MAGELLAN, from Jonathon Creek, played by the legend that is Caroline Quentin, whose talents sadly aren't being put to use at the moment. Maddy was the journalist-cum-investigator to Alan Davies' magician between 1997 and 2000, who would search for an interesting story -- sometimes raking up mysteries from 50 years ago -- and then hoodwink the Creekster along for long enough to get him involved and eventually coming to some sort of conclusion that more often that not would make it into her book.

Maddy would attempt to work out the solution herself, collecting up every red herring along the way, at least at the beginning. Towards the end of her 'reign', however, Maddy and Jonathon became the perfect partnership, picking out the important bits of the plot, understanding what really happened, and solving the puzzle-based crime. That's where the genius of Jonathon Creek lies -- the way it's about working out what the problem really is, rather than trying to see how it happened: many of the episodes are locked room mysteries, and the entertainment comes from finding out that what we saw was actually something entirely different, and how it was made to appear that way. It's magic and murder, I suppose.

Jonathon Creek is, to my mind, not really a detective series, although the murders, motives and solutions don't do much to suggest an alternative. Then again, Maddy herself was never really a detective, but the way she sneaked into gardens, and charmed the pants off the local policeman to get inside info is more than enough for an honorary title.

Maddy's my favourite because she was a real character, in more ways that one: her crush on Jonathon never amounted to anything, never even got close, and yet it still remained a pretty strong influence in her actions, but she moves to America, and that's that; She got burgled, and recorded it in her own special way, with a sign on her front door: "Don't bother, you bastards, I've already been done." She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty, and her curiosity, sense of humour and sneaky ways are nothing but admirable.

My friends and I agree -- the only word to describe Maddy? Sassy. And I don't know that many other characters who could truly be called that. It's all very well being "kick-ass", but if you've not got any more personality than a a QWERTY keyboard, well, where's the sass?

Maddy Magellan? YOU ROCK.

[Error: unknown template qotd]Depends who was asking and what sort of thing they were asking for, but at the moment I'm quite loving White Lies, and Elbow are still breaking my heart in the best way ever.

[Error: unknown template qotd] APT ICON IS APT.

It's so much nicer (and funnier) to say the French equivalent of "Where is...?" -- Ou est la montage?
Phonetically it's Ooo Ay and it just sounds so much better. Ooo ay la monkey? Ooo ay le milk? Ooo ay la toilette?

I also think "Je Ne Sais Pas" is so much better than "I don't know".

[Error: unknown template qotd] I think I'll always have a special spot in my heart for Jackie from Doctor Who. She's kind of kick ass, but she's so normal and fussy too. I think this illustrates my point perfectly:

[Error: unknown template qotd]Oh god yesh. Among others.

[Error: unknown template qotd] Right now, it'd have to be Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers. It's about getting older and moving on, something I've got to do.